21 Tips I'd Tell 21 Year Old Me

1. Dont cut, die or over damage your hair.  It will take years to repair and by then you'll start finding grays.  And the eyebrows...dont overpluck.

2. Friends....invest in quality not quantity.




3. Your parents arent as uncool as you think.



4. Professors know a lot...take advantage of it.  Oh and go to class; it makes the difference.



5. Your coolness factor wont change if you sit out Friday's party to spend the night watching movies with your girlfriends.



6. Save your money.

7. Dont kiss the frogs.  They just aren't worth it.


 
8. Take care of your body.  Get 8 hours of sleep, drink lots of water, work out and eat right.



9. Call your grandparents.

10. Shadow someone who has a career you'd like.  Find out early if that's the path for you.



11. Never underestimate the power of a good hard day of work.

12. Build your confidence.  Go solo to the movies, shopping, to sit at Starbucks.  Look in the mirror and learn to love you.



13. It's ok if you dont have a serious boyfriend.  Only a small percentage of the relationships at this age last.


13. #yolo it up (within good judgement).  You never know what might be gone tomorrow; appreciate it all today.

14. Pain and hurt are a process of life.  What matters is how you move on with the scar. 



15. Dress to impress.  Invest in high quality products: make-up, clothes, purses, shoes.  They look better and last longer than anything you'll buy at Gabes.



16. Have a journal and write down all that flows through your soul.


 

17. Have a passion and dont be afraid to show/use/express it.



18. Make your bed every day.

19. Most likely, "she-who-will-not-be-named" will always fill the shoes of the b-word.  Karma will come around.  Peace and moving on looks better on anyone.



20. Binge drinking is so last season.  Keep is classy.




21. Be you, sparkle and love the roses.






Love, 

Plasmapheresis - a fancy blood thing

Today I had my first second round of

Plasmapheresis

 also known as Plasma Exchange.  

First time around blog account found here in archive: http://sparklebutonce.tumblr.com/post/25201647753/plasmaexchange

According to the National MS Society:

The vast majority of people experiencing acute attacks respond well to the standard high-dose corticosteroid treatment. According to the guidelines, plasma exchange should be considered a treatment alternative only for the few who do not, and only for a short time.

I love how my MS always falls into that little percentage catagory.  #princess

I was fortunate enough to have this procedure done with the same doctor and nurse as the last time, which I loved, because they are very nice.  

What was weird about the adventure was that the procedure was done at Mercy, where I was in rehab for about a month.  Last night as my parents were going through their head the best route to get there, I realized I had never actually driven to Mercy.  I'd been taken by ambulence, went on a field trip in an ambulence and then left.  

So today while choosing the valet route, it was very surreal.  And weird.  And made my stomach hurt.  That was a good yet rough patch of The Sparkled Life journey and in a flashback I was there again.  Because I wasnt better.  

Yet we hope.

So what does this fancy blood thing do?  It takes out your blood from one arm, puts it in this loud, shacky machine, takes out my plasma, puts in a donors and then goes back into your body through another IV in your other arm.

 The hardest part is squeezing the ball for 2 hours straight.  

The first picture is the taking out blood arm, the second is the plasma and the third is the blood that runs across me. #stunning

It doesnt hurt.  It's more yucky because there is so much blood.  Everywhere.  Running through tubes across you. 

 Yes they keep the pressure cup on you the whole time.  It helps with the blood flow.

I prepared properly for the event by listening to the Twilight soundtrack.  I made sure to wear comfortable yet fashionable and meaningful clothing.

What I wore: Comfty breezy shirt (American Eagle), skirt and leggings (Victoria's Secret), BFF pink forever zip-up, trusty hospital Toms and the essential Starbucks.

The Doctor wanted to get an extra .2 portion of plasma in me however, like always, my veins decided they were done and collapsed.  I have a pretty ugly battle wound growing on my right arm that is sore and hurts.  

 My veins hurt.....

This will be done every other day for 5 treatments.  The last time we did this we did see some relief and we are hoping for the same.  

A year ago we were saying the exact same thing but....hell, I guess someone really wants The Sparkled Life to become a "thing".  (PS: the new blog has hit over 3400 page hits since its "opening" in March 13.  THANK YOU so much to all your MS Sparklers.  You have no idea how much the support means!!!! Keep clicking away!!!!)

Arriving home I put on my Team Edward shirt and called it a day.  Mom kept on her sparkly shirt in support.  And everyone has been so wonderful texting and messaging.  It means so much.  

I want to thank everyone who donates blood and plasma, as well as those that work in blood banks and the such.  I wouldnt be able to do this procedure without your help.  It really does save and change lives.  Thank you and keep it up!! 

Love, Eliz

What I'm Learning about Friendship. Part 1.

A while ago I wrote a post on "What I know about Love, Part 1" (found here in archive: http://sparklebutonce.tumblr.com/post/31418225534/whatiknowaboutlove).  

Now, it's friendship's turn.  

I always say Part 1 because I believe these subjects (amoung many others) have continiuos lessons to be learned from. 

So cue Part 1 Friendship.

Not many things can test friendship, or even love for that matter, more than a chronic disease or disability.  No matter what occurs, things will have to change.  This I am learning.  

I mentioned the other day a movie I watched that really moved me..."A Little Bit of Heaven".  I bring it up now because I believe it shows perfectly the types of friendships that occur in cases such as this.  

Friendship can essentially can be broken down into 4 groups:

1. The "Im right next door" friendship.

This is the friend that is the doer.  The one who knows you need some swedish fish and will bring some to you asap.  The one who is going to have you just sit down, drink some chardonnay, while they prepare a huge Italian dinner.  They know your needs.  They know you're sick.  They mix the both together and make your days.

In the movie, this is the guy friend who lives next door, cooks and walks the dog whenever needed.

2. The "I'm right around the corner" friendship.

This is the friend that even though you might not text or hear from daily, you know they are there no matter what.  They'll surprise you with a little note in the mail.  They'll answer your texts with sparkly emoticons and hugs and kisses.  They know your needs when you present them to them and answer to the call when needed.

The movie doesnt really have this friend character but I felt it important to define. 

3. The "Life is the same" friendship.

These are a very beautiful friendship.  The one's who just treat you the same.  Yes, they understand the drama of the situation.  They know this is serious.  But it's not going to change anything.  In the friendship or how they perceive you.  You will always be that same, strong friend they fell in love with and will treat you the same.  Yes, there will be times in which things will need to be modified and this will be done; but in sort of a "unspoken" way.  Not ashamed way.  Just, this is the new normal way.  

In the movie this is the best friend/business partner.  She treats each day as if just like before.  Even in the last moment she is smiling and supporting her friend.   

4. The "I dont know how to do this" friendship

I've debated on what I wanted to say about friendship for a while now.  Because I've been so blessed to have friends who have gone above and beyond in the 1-3 categories.  I'm so blessed by those I'm surrounded with.  They keep me going daily.  They keep me smiling. 

But since this is my story, and thus, the backbone of my book (getting ahead of myself here), I felt it necessary to express my true feelings on all types of friendship, even those lost.  

It may come off as bitter.  Please read to the end.

This friendship is defined by the ones in my life that just couldnt handle the change.  It interferes too much with their life and they dont know how to respond.  

There is one friendship in particular.  This friendship was very dear to me, had been for over 7 years.  

The friendship was defined mostly by a 60/40 effort, me providing 60.  It's not that this friend was selifsh; it's just how it was.

So when I was diagnosed, that 60/40 went to 0/100 overnight.  And this friend "didnt know how to be the friend that I wanted".  Looking back in hinesight though, I dont think this person meant offense.

In the movie, the character's bestest and longest friend finds out that she is pregnant with baby number two the same time the main character receives her chronic diagnosis.  This friend doesnt know how to enjoy her life, handle her difficulties while also trying to support her friend.  So she disappears.  Because what else can she do?

This is almost the exact same story, minus a baby.  My friend was going through life changing experiences, both good and bad, at the same time I was diagnosed.  This friend has expressed that they didnt know how to do both; how to function their life and be in mine as well.  

I shouldnt pin-point one friend.  There have been quite a few, even a love.  

Sometimes people build their boxes and when change occurs dont know how to build around it.  Whereas others, they build as they go on in life.  

I cant deny how upset this has made me, how many tears this has brought me.  Because not only have I lost a friend(s), but it's a slap in the face that my life is so different that persons cant handle it.  I'm such a hindrance that I am cut out of lives.  It hurts. 

Everyone has their own mountains to climb.  And for some, their mountains are not this one, with me, in the sparkled life.  And I just have to accept that.  And move on.  

There is a beautiful scene in which to conclude this friendship type on.  

The main character goes to her friend's house.  The friend who didnt invite her to her baby shower ("it's complicated"), to the friend who doesnt bring dinners, doesnt sit in the park, who doesnt even open the door when it's knocking, who isnt there in the last few hours of life.  

This quote sums up what I want to say to my friends who have treated me like this:

"I'm sorry...it really hurt me when you started distancing yourself, but it's ok.  I get it.  A new baby coming and me leaving...it's not fair having to be so happy and so sad at the same time.  Our friendships is one of the best things in my life and I'm sorry I'm not going  to get to know that little boy, but I know he'll be beautiful, just like Cami (the older sister)...and please, when she get's older, tell her that I love her like she's my own."

Except I'd say the quote without babies.  (:

In summary, for this portion, I just want you to know that I'm sorry you had to choose between your life and mine.  That it got complicated.  And I'm hurt by what happened.  But I understand that again, not everyone has to climb this with me.  

In summary, for this post, I am SO thankful for all the friendship that I do have.  I am BEYOND blessed.  I look around my room, with framed pictures of memories and events, of faces and I love and love me, just the way I am.  Multiple Sclerosis and all.

And for what it is worth, prior to me realizing how important it is to be a good friend, please consider this an overall apologie for all those times I wasnt a good friend.  I am working on it. 

Love always, Eliz

Livin' on a prayer

May the fourth be with you.   

Yes, I'm a closet have seen it too many times Star Wars fan.  

Happy Saturday! So I thought I would take a moment or two and express how I am feeling.

You know that feeling after the longest day you've ever had, that included work, hobbies, family, exercise, cooking, cleaning....plus you're sick, like cant function sick.  And you lay down and just cant get up?

That's a percentage of my last few days.

I am literally living on a prayer. 

I think I can conclude that the steroids are in fact not working.  I would even go so far as to say that I'm worse off.  Yay.

Third infusion day came and went.  I have a new favorite at home nurse as she brought me a Starbucks.  Pretty fabulous.  

Mom made my day sparkly buy finding the (almost sold out) lovely blue sparkly sperrys I've had my eye on for weeks.  

The puppies have enjoyed being able to snuggle with me while being sick.  

May 2nd I celebrated my 2nd year anniversary with 3 Pillar Global (more on that later).  

Right now I am going to go watch some tv, drink some bubble water and collapse again.  

Two last things:

1. Last weekend I put a goal to get 100 likes on facebook...which we achieved!!  Can we get 200 by the end of this weekend? (we're so close!!)

https://www.facebook.com/thesparkledlife1

2. Check out and spread the news of Atom Willis, a men's fashion label that shares it's profits for MS awareness.  Love.

OpenSky: https://www.opensky.com/atom-willis/product/black-washed?osky_referral

Web-site: http://www.atomwillis.com/

"Try not. Do… or do not. There is no try.”

Love, Eliz

Celebrity care or Reality check?

This morning a nice nurse came to our house to provide at home personal care in administrating a steroid infusion of solu-medrol.

At first thought, I was excited about this choice.  We wouldnt have to drive into the hospital for a day, I could be comfty in my own home...convenience.  Princess treatment I believe I called it.  Celebrity care as I was reminded.

But then, when it actually occured, I realized I didnt like it.  Home was my safe place.  It was where I would only let those closest to me in for it was where I would allow myself to actually be MS Eliz.  You know, the one without any make-up, who spends her days in bed, drinking Starbucks, in her lovely VS yoga pants and tanks.  

And today it was invaded by no less than steroids.  Reality check.  You know you are sick when....

But the nurse was pleasant.  And the infusion went smooth.  Like always, I have yet to find relief, only side effects.  

Today these side effects are leaning more towards how much I miss my friends.  I want everyone to come over now.  If steroids can come, so can the world.  

I miss my friends, near and far.  I miss my brother and my sister.  I miss my Grandma.  I miss driving my little sports car, given to me about 5 years ago (how time flies).  I miss going to the mall.  I miss.  I just miss it.  And there is nothing I can do because I've picked the worst time to miss these people.  Finals, new jobs, new families...life is moving on and spring is busy.  People who I know would drop over in an instance cant right now.  And I just have to deal with it (and the growing fact that these emotions are in a long play due to my drugs) and wait just a few more weeks.  Maybe then I will be human and alive again.

Regardless, I survived day two.  We left the IV in which is weird also, being that I'm sleeping in my own bed with a needle in my arm.  But given the fact my nerves are tricky, best solution.  

Final answer: I'm going with celebrity care.  Especially since I wore my new local celebrity LA shirt today.  "The best things in life are love".

Amen to that.

Love, Eliz

The Severity of my MS is Helping the Economy.

My mom homeschools the three youngest brothers who are at home (although they particpate in a lot of public school activities...they have the best of both worlds...said from the girl who went to public high school).

Each day one of the brothers picks a "word of the day" from a SAT Word Book and it is then written on a board on the wall.  Each time a person uses the new word in a sentence gets to put a nickle in the "Chick-fi-la" bucket, which will eventually be used for a dinner out on the town.  #wesofancy

Severity is one of the first words I saw when I got home from the hospital today.  Nickel for me!

Yes, the severity of my Multiple Sclerosis case is keeping the Multiple Sclerosis Department at UPMC, my Doctors, health insurance and many drug companies in business.  While I'd much rather be keeping businesses like Massage Envy, Clinique, Michael Kors, Ralph Lauren (to name a few) in business, I am helping the economy.  #silverlining

As most of you know if you've followed the past couple of posts from The Sparkled Life, the past few weeks have been not fun, at all.  I've been very sick.

What thought was a pseudo-relapse due to stress actually turned into a blood result that came back with anti-bodies showing that my body was rejecting Tysabri.  Tysabri was the infusion that we had so much hope in, especially since it helped with lesions in the brain, my curse.  But, my body decided no.

The problem with this story is the blood result came back just hours after I had my April infusion.  So I've suffered the past however long with a drug in my body I'm allergic to.  No wonder its been ugly.

Interruption:

Remember when I mentioned that one Thursday when I went to the hospital and it was a day that made it on to the Top 5 worst in my MS career?  Well, what made it qualify was an "administrative" problem that occurred between my health insurance and switching to COBRA.  

I was assured that there would be no lapse however, once arriving at the hospital, we quickly discovered this was not the case.  And it was due to an "administrative" problem.  Please excuse me while I have trust issues with insurance companies, brokers and the like.  

This rant comes full circle.  For this "administrative problem" caused a 24 hour delay in all blood-work and testing.  A precious 24 hours that cost me being infused with a drug that I'm allergic to but didnt know because of the hour lapse in the blood-work results.  

Thank you insurance company and brokers, kindly.  

So today.  I first must say, I really appreciate my MS specialist doctor.  He is very smart and he really cares about me.  Before, yes, I might have been just an "interesting" case but now, after all our meetings, I've become a patient he just wants to be "boring" as he puts it.  He wants me to get better.  

And today, as he started his notes, he said "Let's talk MS long-term..." and trailed off in thought.  Coming back, he said in an under the breath kind of a way, "usually we dont have this talk until much later".  Usually, Tysabri is the right answer.  Usually, its a good right answer.  But my body, strongly, said no.

So here's the summary:

My body didnt take to Rebif (thus the entire class of interferons); my body is allergic to Tysabri.  Not many options left.

However, a new and positive drug has JUST come out on the market and is an oral tablet and has promising results.  Further encouragement to share my story, to create MS awareness.  This tablet was only approved a few weeks ago.  And here I am, in need of a new medicine, a stepping stone before I turn to the high risks of such medicines as chemo.  

I dont like that I have MS.  But I can see that God is using the awareness, The Sparkled Life, for good.  Let this be the proof.

So, we will wait the weeks it takes to get a high cost drug approved my health insurances (blah) and then we will have hope that I will eventually go into remission.

In the meantime........

My "I hate steroids and life right now face".  And yes, I wear that sweater a lot.  Its the perfect go-to from Ralph Lauren.

I'm still suffering from pain, tremors, the usual.  Even though I swore of steriods forever, we are giving it "one more shot".  But a short one.  3 days of steroid infusions and then no taper.  After that, depending on how I'm doing, we will discuss Plasma Exchange.  

I have a feeling this route also has to do something to do with health insurances and drug companies.  I wont digress on that.  That and the fact there arent really any other options for relief.

So...beware world.  Steroids make me very.....emotional.  And you gain weight no matter what you try or not try.

My steroid photo-shoot...1, how I really feel face, 2, Mom forcing me to smile, 3, Laughing because we're having a photo shoot in an infusion center, 4, the ugly steroids.

They've already kicked in.  Coming home from the hospital Mom had the pleasure to hear my piece on Pittsburgh drivers.  When stopping at Trader Joe's (for my favorites and roses...gotta love Mom), I even let a person who was staring at me in the old person motor cart, arm bandage and overall "I'm sick" appearance know "its so cool to stare".  I'm pretty sure I saw a smile.  Or at least that's how I'm telling the story.

The many faces of steroids.  Am I being dramatic?  No, they really do make me cray.

The next two days of steriods will actually be done in house (#princesstreatment).  They'll set up an IV infusion center and I'll just chill with the traveling nurse for an hour or so.  And we checked ahead of time, insurance covers this.

Ending words:

• There is always a silver lining.  You just have to look for it.
• I havent had steroids since having the disability of dysarthria (my speech disability).  So this should be interesting...how the words come out.
• Pray for my family...they will need it.
• Help create MS Awareness and do not give up hope.  
• Hope.  I believe in such a little word SO hard and only can remain optimistic that it believes in me as well.  I need it to.  

You all are wonderful.  Fellow MS Sparklers, MS Sparkler Supporters, random readers who stumble across....thank you.  Be thankful for your health.  Hope daily for continued sparkle. 

Love always, Eliz

PS: I woke up to bed head silly puppy this morning.  I love him.

Weekend / Life updates.......

Well let's see.  It is now almost the end of April.  And I have successfully spent most of it in bed.

April showers bring May flowers?

Let's gosh darn hope so!!

This weekend was full of adventures. 

First, the Darlington family as we shall call them.  This is a family that I sometimes house/dog/kid sit for.  They are just a lovely family.  This weekend I dog sat their two puppies, T and S and we took many naps together (yes in the same bed).  They are fabulous puppies.

We even spent some time sitting outside for a bit, them watching the deer, myself reading and drinking Starbucks.  The weather was nice enough to wear sandals for a bit!  That was a sparkle moment!

Second, Grandma visited from Colorado!  We met Saturday for coffee at my favorite.

Third, the twins received a scout honor at the Catherdral on Sunday.  Being in a wheelchair sometimes does have its benefits...we got front row seats!  So proud!

  

I love how you can see my bunny ear iPhone case shadow on here. (:

  

With Grandma.  Dress: Michael Kors. Love.

Boys and I. <3

  

Mom and Daddy with the Scouts of Honor.

And then...back to bed.  Last night was one of the worst nights.  Well, like I said, this past month has just been blah.  I havent gotten to do anything because my body just doesnt even want to.  

Multiple Sclerosis is a bitch.  I can say this because it applies.  

I go tomorrow to the MS Specialist Doctor to determine next steps and how we can find some relief.  I only hope there is something.

I watched a very interesting movie which I will elaborate on more on a different post; it was called "A Little Bit of Heaven".  It brought me to tears, which really isnt saying much since this medicine I'm on creates life to be portrayed as an emotional rolling coaster.

But to provide a glimpse, what really brought me so hard to tears is the correlation this movie had with my life.  Granted, it wasnt a direct correlation but it was close.  

Watching my life correlation, on screen, played by Kate Hudson, whom I love, was difficult.  It knocked me into the reality seat, a seat I dont like to be in much (hello, I sometimes convince kids that I'm a real life princess; or that I'm a robot and have a third leg).  

As stated, I will elaborate more.  I just wanted to share a preview of what is to come. 

To say that reality sucks sometimes.  

Multiple Sclerosis sucks all the time.

Not being able to get out of bed shouldnt even be a thought.  Unless you're trying to avoid finals week.

I'm doing the best I can do and I know that.  And I have amazing friends and family who are as well.

No one knows how to do this, how to go through life with a chronic, disabling disease.  But once that card has been handed to you, you just got to put on your best poker face and play it.  There are too many cute clothes to wear out not to.  (Should I mention I've done a lot of online shopping? :D)

Much love to all.  Prayers, good vibes, all appreciated for some hope tomorrow!!

Love, Eliz

A wheelie selfie shot.  A must of course. 

PS: THANK YOU to all who have liked The Sparkled Life Facebook Page!!  We've hit 141 likes!!  Here's to 200!!  To like the fb page, visit: https://www.facebook.com/thesparkledlife1