January - Year of Health 2018

After a rough December recovering from my latest rituxan (immunosuppressant chemo) treatment, I gladly decided to declare 2018

THE YEAR OF HEALTH

This is kind of ironic being that I dont necessarily have a solid track record of "being healthy".  I have a diagnosis of multiple sclerosis and secondary Parkinson's disease that are a daily battle. Then days that I do fall under the "good, I feel normal" category, I fracture a bone or break my neck or smash my face or do something else completely unrelated that sends me to the doctors.  It's very comedic. And the humor of declaring a whole year dedicated to breaking this track record has not been lost on me.

But, we're one month down and completed!! 

January has always been a harder than normal month; recovering from the holidays, it's freezing cold, it's slippery (aka hell for those with walking adaption equipment), and it's also super long. 

On top of this, this January I was still recovering from the chemo treatment, as well as my gma passed away (love you gma!  She always loved this blog so a big shout out to her!)

And yet, to repeat: one month down and completed!! YES!!

How do I feel overall?  Decently good. (:  This was one of my better January's since being diagnosed in 2012.  I'll take it!

Here are some highlights from my favorite highs and lows: 

NUTRITION

Green Juice

It's a health trick that if you are suffering from some constipation backup, one of the best ways to handle it is to drink a green smoothie.  The mix of the fiber and the water soluble ingredients makes a great mix for helping to get you on the toilet.

Constipation is a real reality for people who have MS.  It's also something I feel like people are too embarrassed to discuss.  I am not one of those people.  (:  I enjoy talking about poop and making sure that myself and my loved ones are staying regular because it's a very vital part of keeping a healthy body.

So in honor of staying regular, I started using this green juice supplement every day.  And guess what?  Ive been so regular that I dont see myself never not using this!!  (I apologize if you're cringing at this TMI.  But like, everyone poops right?).

You mix this with a cup of water and tada- you have a green juice that's so nutritionally packed!  So convenient and easy (both fabulous things).

Vitamins

I take a packet of daily vitamins that have everything you could want in them.  They also are very wonderfully made and dont make you feel nauseous after (I've had that happen to many other brands).  

Here's all they contain:

 I love that they are packaged together because again, convenient and easy.

In addition to these multi-vitamin packs, I take magnesium, milk thistle, and l-lysine.  Magnesium is great for bone health, l-lysine is great for helping the skin and immune system, and milk thistle is fabulous for overall liver health.

I also take a packet of adaptogens daily, sometimes twice.  Adaptogens are natural herbs that are thought to help the body to deal with stress, such as lowering certain hormone levels.  Any kind of stress puts me at risk of causing an influx in MS symptoms so I naturally try to keep stress at an all time low on the regular.  These help to regulate what goes on inside my body.  They also help a lot after a steroid stretch.  

Vitamin fail

I'd taken Valerian root in the past and was really a fan of it.  So I decided to incorporate in my daily schedule again, taking at night with my nighttime meds.  I tracked my daily fatigue and energy levels daily and noticed a trend: on the nights I took Valerian root, I was extremely fatigued the next day and would take a nap.  As much as I love naps, I try to steer clear of them as they interrupt my nighttime routine.  So I stopped taking valerian root because of this. 

However, if you do struggle with insomnia or nighttime restlessness, I would suggest *trying* this but take good notes on how you feel the next day.

Diet

Protein shakes are everywhere!!  It makes sense as protein helps build our muscles and we want our muscles to be cool and lovely; so taking extra steps to nutritionally help them is a plus.  But I've learned you have to be careful of certain protein powders; many are filled with bad ingredients and in some cases, just pure saw dust as filler.  Ew. 

I love isagenix protein shakes and have at least one every day.  It makes me feel like superwoman because they not only taste fabulous, but they make me feel amazing.  I swear by them.  The ones I use are dairy and gluten free.  I dont really have that much of a gluten intolerance but dairy yes.  Because I'm lazy fatigued, I use a shaker bottle and they blend very nicely!

If you've read anything on nutrition the past few months/years, you've probably read about the trend of intermittent fasting.  This month I did a few full days of intermittent fasting (with nutrition products to help keep myself balanced throughout the day) and for the month of February I plan on following a 16:8 IF plan.  

I could tell you all about the benefits of intermittent fasting but my bestie actually wrote an e-book on the topic so I'll let her tell you all about it.  You can find the book here (<<click the link).

Personally I can attest to how wonderful IF has been for me in helping to rid myself of toxins and to help with liver health.  With the medicine that I take and infusions I've had, it's important to help the body in the release process.  IF helps so much with that!

Massage

Massage has been a constant theme during these past few years.  I love massages for the benefit of relaxing my muscles that are usually so tight from contracting and spasms.  

I started going back to getting massages every week.  I go to massage envy and would suggest it only if you can find a therapist that works with you.  Otherwise I'm not the biggest fan of the company; but I LOVE my therapist so I go. (:

I feel like massage would be most beneficial if you went every other day but this is such an expense I dont think I could ever explore that as an option.  Once a week already seems luxurious and the benefits of the massage only lasts at most 48 hours.  However, a little bit of relief for 48 hours is worth continuing.

HEALTH FAIL

I almost deleted this part because it's so unflattering.  But it's important to remember to always spot check your products and that not every granola/crunchy item is for everyone.  

I take great care of my skin.  Because I dont wear makeup on a daily basis (not because I dont want to but more because I'm conserving energy), I want my skin to look beautiful naked.  I use high quality products, I do weekly masks and always wash my face before bed.  My face is my favorite.

One night I decided to try Vitamin E oil as a moisturizer.  I had heard it's great for skin in the winter because it helps to keep dry skin at bay, plus its organic and natural (the brand I used was from trader joes).

I slathered Vitamin E oil all over my face.  I noticed that my lips and cheeks went numb but just told myself that was the multiple sclerosis and didnt think twice about it.

Until 45 minutes later when my whole face started to BURN. Immediately I washed my face, and when I looked up at the mirror I realized my face had broken out in hives.  These hives eventually scabbed over, and then bruised. 

It's been more than two weeks and my face still has bruise marks on my forehead.  Something so small and yet so sad because the whole process probably aged my face by three years.  Plus it hurt like hell and itched like crazy (I eventually made an appointment with my dermatologist and got some high powered steroid cream to help.)  I now am uber careful on not putting anything with vitamin e in it (which basically my whole beauty process has) and have taken great steps to calm the inflammation down.  It'll get better...right?!

Good news is that with a little make-up it looks normal-ish.  (:

So that was January in the highs and lows.  I cant really complain; it was a pretty good month.  I feel like the health steps I took were small ones but I'm proud I stayed consistent.

For the month of February I will be focusing on three areas:

• Intermittant fasting 16:8
• Bicycling training (started in January but more effective in February)
• Draining the Lymphatic system (I'm really excited about this and cant wait to share!!)

(unrelated to health but we all love a good recommendation!)

Things I enjoyed this month:

Books: The Last Mrs. Parrish  and You Are a Badass.

Movies: Mudbound (Netflix original)

TV shows: Grace and Frankie (Netflix), Madam Secretary

Hope you had a lovely January and here's to a great (and short!!) February!

"OMGGGGGG" - a new post

OMGGGGG

The sparkled life blog is back!

But wait...didnt I swear off writing and blog posts February 2016?  Isnt the previous post titled "the last post"? Are we trying to make blog writing happen again?

Yes, to all the above.  

I had sworn of writing on the sparkled life.  Why?  It got too difficult.  I needed a break.  My finger muscles contract making typing difficult.  I didnt want to be known as the "the girl with MS".  I felt I had nothing more to say.  And on and on and on. 

Recently I was at my neurologist where there was a new patient, a woman my age.  She didnt look scared but she did look overwhelmed.  It took me back to when I was first diagnosed and how I had wished I had someone to tell me it was all going to be ok.  

That's why I started this blog in the first place - because I had searched for someone, anyone, with a "story like mine" and couldnt find one.  All I could find on MS were stories from people with less hard symptoms like a numb thumb (any symptom is challenging but where were the people who could no longer walk/talk/use their arms?!?!?) or kids with info on how they "healed" their ms with witchery.  

So, I thought, "hell, I'll write the story".  

That was a while ago.  And I had forgotten that flame, that ambition, until I saw this girl the other day.  I so wanted to go up to her and tell her its going to be ok, that she was going to get through this, that it was going to hurt, it was going to be a bitch, but she was strong and was going to make it. 

Butttttt you cant really do that in doctors offices.  

Instead, that fire ignited in me again.  I thought about all the lessons and mistakes I've gained in the past 5 years since diagnosis and how they just might be able to help others.  And maybe, that girl will get a random facebook message from her aunt with a link to this blog.  And she'll be comforted that shes not alone.  

And that's why Im back.  (:

The Friday I Coded

And there I was again...being rushed through the back hallways of a hospital by a concerned party, someone silently whispering "it's going to be ok", me doing my hardest to keep my head up, my mom trying her best to carry our collection of purses and coats and keep up.  

I had been here before - many times in fact.  Almost my entire MS journey has been a collective case of re-active catch-ups, instead of pro-active solutions.  I'm always one step behind where I should be, sometimes five, trying my best to catch-up.  

I woke up last Friday semi-excited (and ridiculously early).  I was going on an adventure to the hospital to receive a new drug (a cancer chemo type that some have had luck with "weird" MS cases).  There was hope in this drug and the side effects, though not cute, were limited compared to some of the drugs I have had prior.  Or so I had been reassured prior.  

It was going to be a long infusion - 6-8 hours.  We arrived at the hospital early and ready; I even wore a new sweater for good luck.  

I had my own little private room for the infusion and we settled in pretty nicely - they even warmed their blankets at this hospital!  I started out with the pre-drug drugs to help eliminate the side effects.  They got a stick on the first try and an hour later they had started the infusion. 

15 minutes in I looked to my mom, expressing that I wasn't exactly feeling right.  I had been warned of the side effects and that they start as soon as the drug hits the blood stream; in typical fashion, I sort of shrugged it off.  

Except the feeling was getting worse.  To distract myself, I decided I'd download an audiobook to listen to while the time passed.  And that's the last concrete thought I remember.  

The nurse had come in to check and I expressed that I wasn't feeling so well.  What "feeling so well" meant was that I was feeling pressure in my chest, confusion, weakness.  

One minute I'm looking at the nurse trying to explain how I'm feeling and the next thing I know my mom is gone, I'm surrounded by 13 or so people asking me questions, all with that concern look on their face.

I was coded.  

It was probably a bit dramatic for the situation (but to be fair, better safe than sorry).  My mom filled me in on the details later - they escorted her back to the waiting room, Code C being broadcasted throughout the hospital, a counselor finding her to sit with her and make sure she was ok.  

Hey mom, what if it really was just an early April Fools joke?  Did I get you? (:

After my vitals were brought to a stable enough point, I was transferred to the ER.  From there I was admitted.  The pain was some of the worst pain I have ever experienced.  I consider myself having a high pain tolerance which only furthered my concern - if it hurt this bad, what the heck was going on?  

This picture is so gross - but shows what a difference an hour makes huh? (:

I got to do all the tests, all the great hospital things that come with being admitted, and I had a room with a view.  The nurses were empathetic and the doctors in search of answers.  

And yet again, none were really found. 

It's a little terrifying to go through some of the worst pain of your life, location - chest, and not know why.  

Today as I was driving back from the neurologist's office, I thought how easy it could be to just become overwhelmed with being upset. To be frustrated.  To be mad.  To be angry.  Those feelings are there, suppressed on some level.  I told myself that it would not be irrational to express them - I deserved to be all of these things.  I thought how I could use the MS trump card to anyone who complained and how I could clear my conscious with the same.  

Then a little question stirred up inside: "Why?".  Yeah, I had earned the right to be upset and frustrated.  But why should I fall in to that?  What good would come of it?  Would it make my happy?  Would it make those around me happy? 

Would it help the situation?

I'm a Catholic and this week is what we call Holy Week - a week to recognize the death of Jesus Christ and His resurrection.  

One of my favorite stories of Jesus is when He is in the Garden of Gethsemane   He knows what is coming - He is going to be crucified on a cross.  It's a gruesome and ugly death.  And we find Him in a garden, overcome by it all.  Not just overcome, but actually begging God to make it not be.  "Let this cup pass...".  Jesus was pretty tight with the big man upstairs, he had performed many miracles, in fact he rose a guy from the dead a few weeks prior to this.  He was strong.  

And yet He cried because of the suffering He had to endure.  He was upset.  He asked for it to all go away.  

This is the thought that runs through my head often.  If the Son of God fell in despair because of suffering, then how can I blame me for not wanting to do the same?  

But you know what happens after He cried?  He got back up and completes the sentence "....but your will be done".  And then He goes and carries his cross.  And yes, He dies.  But then He is resurrected - He comes back to life, except to a life with no pain and only glory.  

So I'm going to try my best to keep my head up through all the frustrations.  Mostly because I like being happy.  Mostly because I think life is too short to be cranky.  Mostly because I really like laughing.  But mostly because I look forward to following in the steps of Jesus - I've heard heaven is a really cool place and would love to make it. 

Here's to trying again - because I'm not going to have a little incident keep me down.  

If you find yourself in a little bit of a hole in life, do not be discouraged.  I may play it down or express how easy it is to not be in that hole, but I know this is not the case for some.  If you ever need someone to talk to, please do not hesitate to reach out.  And never get mad at yourself for being upset - if Jesus did it, I think it's ok if you did too.  Just remember how beautiful it can be if you get up after.  You are not alone!